One of my favourite podcasts is "How I Built This" by Guy Raz. This guy (pun not intended) has spent years interviewing some of the most interesting entrepreneurs out there. From Melanie Perkins from Canva, Jack Conte and Sam Yam from Patreon, to Tobias of Shopify and serial entrepreneur Marcia Kilgore of Beautypie. He always asks a variation of this question - "how much of what you've achieved/ of your success is down to hardwork or luck?". The guest in question sometimes will categorically answer that it's all about their hard work.
Throughout the years I have been asking myself this question a lot. And my answer tends to be "it's complicated". There are times when I picture myself in front of a hypothetical weight scale - one of those old ones you imagine the Romans would use to weight silver. And the entire thought experiment always leaves me with a sense of uneasiness. Sometimes I'd weigh x, y, z factors and luck will weigh a bit more heavily. And at other times I'd weigh a, b, c factors and suddenly luck wins no more - now hard work has a slight advantage.
The older I get the more I have learnt to make peace with the fact that my life so far, what I've accomplished, or how I have succeeded (this word requires a whole definition in itself), boils down to a series of lucky breaks and chances that I was able to capture somehow. Sometimes my hardwork may have helped. But sometimes Lady Luck played a huge role. And when you live in countries that constantly talk about meritocracy being a thing, but newsflash: it's a bit of a myth, what happens when you realise that luck is more important than you thought?
I don't have to look too far to remember how insanely lucky I am. My parents? Didn't get a chance to get a formal education. Their parents didn't much care for school - they hadn't gone themselves and they had turned out fine - so they didn't even think about the opportunities that their children may be afforded by going to school. And yet my dad is one of the smartest people I know. He learnt to read and write on his own, he devours books about psychology and personal finance - his latest obsession. And I'm always left wondering what he could have possibly accomplished had his family listened to his plea to send him to school when he was a child.
I am insanely lucky. I managed to win the parents' lottery and got incredibly nurturing individuals. They may struggle to do the hug thing and express how much they love me in words - the results of some pretty strict upbringing, I'm sure - but they've always made me believe that I could do everything I set my mind to. When they first asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, they went on and bought me a microscope and an encyclopaedia about the human body (this was when I was still under the illusion I'd become a doctor one day). When I was struggling with maths (and with Ancient Greek and Latin, let's be honest) they immediately asked around and paid for weekly tutoring sessions to help me get my grades up. When some random family friends who had moved to London told them that we should consider making the move because I'd have more opportunities in the UK, they booked a one week trip to London, checked the place out and my mom and I moved just a few weeks later. My mom spoke zero words in English.
I am lucky that I ended up enrolling at a comprehensive in Hackney for Sixth Form. There I got a series of lucky breaks because I had teachers who were awesome, believed in me, and made me think about Oxford as a possibility. I am lucky I came across a random flyer at school and got in touch with a charity who made me realise there was a whole world out there called "The City" where people worked.
But not all my lucky breaks have been lucky. Sometimes it is failure that turned out to be luck in disguise. That rejection from that magic circle law firm after my vac scheme stung a lot. And so did getting rejected from the WPP program (a 3 year rotational program in marketing communications)- my dream of becoming the next Olivia Pope, running political comms for elections in the US felt completely gone forever. I mean I cried in bed for half a day at least.
But these failures are what got me to board a flight to Seoul for an internship at a startup in 2016. It is also what prompted me to go study a Masters in International Public Management (I still don't know what that really means so don't ask). There, two years in Paris, a sprained ankle later, a trip to the emergency room and an unexpected surgery, I realised that there was no way in hell I was going to work for an International Organisation. But that I'd be working in tech to make the world a better place (a girl can have big dreams).
I am lucky. I have awesome parents - even though sometimes they get on my last nerve. I got an incredibly bourgeois education whilst being working class. Even when we fell on hard times I always had a roof over my head, and we always had plenty of food on the table. I went to one of the best grammar schools in my area in Italy before I moved to London. I had the opportunity to go to some of the best universities in the world. And that luck - whether the result of some hard work or just chance - is also my privilege.